


A New Dance

by reclusiveq



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Assault, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-02
Updated: 2014-05-10
Packaged: 2018-01-21 16:28:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1556804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reclusiveq/pseuds/reclusiveq
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Bucky is caught with a gun on campus, his life seems over. But he's given a chance to finish out his high school year when the new drama teacher speaks out on his behalf, convincing the school board to give the boy a second chance. The caveat is that Bucky now has to help out with the drama production. In doing so, Bucky finds himself faced with a choice that could give him back a life he'd forgotten he wanted, or completely destroy him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“What the hell is this?” Bucky demanded, stepping into the counselor’s office waving a piece of paper angrily. “Musical theatre? Really?”

The woman sitting behind her desk didn’t bother looking up and she didn’t respond right away, so Bucky slammed the paper on her desk. She sighed and looked up at him. “You know the ruling. After that stunt you pulled last month…”

“Yeah, I get it. I was expecting, like, community service. Picking up trash on the side of the road or cleaning up a park. But this? It’s humiliating.”

“Your arm is still in a cast. How would you be able to clean up trash? You’ll be eighteen in a month. You’re lucky they didn’t just try you as an adult and send you straight to prison. Bringing a gun on campus is a very serious offense. You’ve already been suspended, and you were nearly expelled. Do you really understand the consequences all that could have meant for you? You’re in your senior year. You have the world ahead of you. I think taking a single class is worth not ruining the rest of your life.”

Bucky grumbled, but he knew she was right. “But still… why this class?”

“Because the man who runs it spoke up for you personally. He fought hard to keep you in school and his only request was that you join his class. Now then, since you’re obviously skipping your other classes, why don’t I walk you over and introduce you.”

It was a statement more than a question and she stood up and walked out, leaving Bucky to follow her. Muttering under his breath, he shoved the paper into a pocket and hurried after her. He’d never considered himself out of shape, but he was still winded when they finally reached the school’s theatre.

He wondered about the drama teacher. He was new and young, that was all Bucky knew. All the girls had suddenly wanted to take a drama class once the new teacher had been hired. So why this man would stick his neck out for a brat he didn’t even know was beyond Bucky. 

Miss Natasha was still walking, somehow walking fast but seeming unhurried at the same time. “The teacher’s name is Steven Rogers.”

“Mr. Rogers?” Bucky started to laugh, then stopped at the look on Natasha’s face. 

“You’ll help him in the production of whatever upcoming musical he has planned.”

“Yes, ma'am.” He didn’t really want to end up in jail, so he’d probably better at least try to see this through, even if it was pretty gay. He thought about what his old man might say if he learned. _Only fags put on girly clothes and prance around on stage. My son ain’t gonna be no fag._

Which was funny to Bucky because they lived in probably the gayest neighborhood in Brooklyn. If his dad had wanted to be bigoted, he should have picked somewhere else to live. But then again, they couldn’t really afford to live anywhere else. Wasn’t like mechanics made a fortune after all.

Natasha knocked at the teacher’s office and there was a muffled “Come in” on the other side. Bucky followed her inside and stopped at the sight of the young teacher. He was in his mid twenties and even Bucky could see what the girls saw in him. He had been expecting some thin, bookish nerd, but this man… He might as well have been a physical trainer the way he was ripped. He was wearing a shirt that was maybe just a bit too tight.

And then Steve smiled. Bucky would have guessed that with a body like that, that screamed Jock!, that the man would be a hardass. But that was not the smile of a man waiting to pounce. It was a warm and genuine smile. Bucky blinked, then looked away, embarrassed that he’d been staring.

“This must be James Barnes.”

Natasha nodded. “Starting today, he’ll be in your class and helping with your next production. What are you doing?”

“I wanted to do Rent, but they said it wasn’t appropriate. So we had to do Grease instead. Well, welcome James. Please have a seat. Miss Natasha, if you’ll excuse us.”

She nodded and left them alone. Bucky didn’t sit down. He watched Steve for a moment. “So what now?” He asked finally.

“Now, we discuss you.”

“Why me? I mean, why did you help me?”

Steve looked at him curiously. “You really don’t remember me?”

“Should I?”

Steve raised an eyebrow. “We were neighbors when we were kids. I was five years older than you, but… Well, here.” Steve reached into a pocket and pulled out an old photo. “This was taken when you were six and I was eleven.”

Bucky looked at the picture. “Wait, you were that scrawny little sick kid?”

“Yeah, I was. You were my first friend.”

Bucky laughed, remembering. “I was smaller than you, but not by much. I remember another kid trying to beat you up and I kicked him.” The smile faded. “Then you left.”

“Yeah, my dad got transferred overseas and I ended up in the hospital for a while. But they managed to help me.”

“I can see that. You grew up. You’re not the same Steve I knew.”

“Oh, I don’t think I’ve changed that much. I just got taller. I honestly didn’t even know you were still a student here until I heard about the… incident. So I pulled a few strings and managed to keep you from being expelled. I imagine your folks couldn’t have been happy when they heard.”

Of course Steve didn’t know. He didn’t know that Bucky’s mom had died and his dad had sunk into alcoholism and abuse since then. He didn’t know that the broken arm was from Bucky’s own dad. Well, foster father. Bucky handed the photo back. “That was a long time ago. Things have changed. I’m grateful for the chance though. So will I be helping to build sets or what?”

“You can audition for one of the roles too, if you’d like.”

Bucky said nothing, biting back the reply that would make him sound too much like his father. “Maybe,” he finally said instead. “I’d hate to take the place of someone else.”

“There’s a lot of parts and not much interest in them. And I remember you used to like to dance.”

“Yeah, when I was six.” The bell rang and Bucky walked over to the door. “I’ll see you in class.”

“Okay. Just promise me you’ll at least try the audition.”

“Fine. I’ll try.” Bucky hurried out, uncertain what his feelings were doing to him. Part of him wanted to be happy. Even though Steve was older, as kids, they’d been very close. But that was before everything went to hell. Seeing him now… it brought too many old feelings back to the surface.

Later that evening, Bucky snuck up to the roof of the apartment and blocked the door behind him. He didn’t really want anyone to see. He wasn’t even sure what was possessing him to try, but as soon as he was sure he was alone, he started a dance number he’d seen on TV earlier. It was hard with his cast, but he managed through somehow, smiling a bit.

His frown dropped a bit. If Dad ever found out what he was doing, he’d beat the shit out of him. Bucky sat down on the edge of the roof, watching the city lights come on as the sun disappeared. His mind wandered back to Steve and he found his cheeks growing flush.

Steve had grown into a handsome man while he’d been gone. Thinking about him made Bucky feel things he knew he shouldn’t be feeling. He was straight, wasn’t he? Not that Bucky had the same issues with being gay that his dad did, but Bucky was just as certain that he was straight. He’d kissed plenty of girls and they had all been pleasant experiences.

But had he ever gotten this flushed over a girl? He shook his head in an attempt to clear it. It didn’t matter anyway. Bucky was seventeen. It wouldn’t even be legal until his birthday and there was no way of knowing if Steve felt the same way. Steve just remembered him as an old friend and, now, a charity case. Nothing else.

Standing up, Bucky headed back down to his apartment, and to whatever mood his dad was in today.


	2. Chapter 2

The audition was on Friday. Bucky started spending his evenings on the roof, practicing not just dancing but reading as well. He wasn’t entirely certain why he was bothering except that it seemed to matter to Steve.

Why do I even care what he thinks? He asked himself.

Because he’s the only one who cares what you want, came the answer.

When Dad asked him why he was constantly getting home so late, Bucky just lied and told him he was having to stay after school, or run an errand… Anything to avoid telling him the truth. It was a gamble, but nobody came out to the roof, so he wasn’t caught.

School was a mess. All of his old acquaintances had left him alone since the gun incident. Everyone whispered and no one trusted him. Even if someone had decided to ask him, would they even believe the truth?

The highlight of his day was, oddly enough, drama class. There were still stares and whispers, but most of the students here were too busy practicing to bother with him. They all lent a hand with the props, and took turns singing songs and reading lines. This was less of a class and more of a free period, but there was still structure to it. 

Steve played the piano for everyone who wanted to sing. Bucky didn’t. At least not in front of everyone. But later, after school was out, he would sit by himself in front of the piano, tap a few keys, and practice by himself.

It was Thursday that Bucky realised he wasn’t alone. Steve walked over and sat next to Bucky. “Here, let me. It’s just the two of us, so no need to be shy.” He started to play. Bucky sang along, quietly at first, then with more confidence. This was a meant to be a duet and Steve joined in a second later. They finished the song together and Bucky realised he was smiling. How long had it been since he’d smiled like this? Bucky looked at Steve. He was smiling as well. Bucky felt a sudden intense urge to kiss him. Instead, he stood up. “My cast should come off next week. It wasn’t really broken. Just a fracture.”

Steve nodded. “I’m glad. Your birthday is next month, isn’t it?”

Bucky blinked. “You remembered?”

“Yeah. Let me take you out for your birthday when it comes.”

“You sure?”

“Never been more sure. Actually, if you’d like to come over tonight, maybe we can catch up on old times. Honestly, I haven’t really gotten to know any of the other teachers, so it’d be nice to have the company.”

Bucky hesitated, then thought of having to deal with his dad. “I’d like that.”

“Great. Get your stuff. I don’t live far.”

Bucky already had his bag packed and followed Steve out. He wasn’t lying about living close. They walked two blocks, then stepped over to a small apartment complex. “Didn’t think teachers made enough to live here,” Bucky commented. 

“They don’t. But… Well, both my parents have passed away, so I received a few assistance checks from the military for my dad’s years of service. I actually own my apartment.”

“Oh. I’m… I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. It happened a few years ago. It’s part of why I returned. He wanted to be buried here.”

“So how’d you end up a drama teacher?”

“Well, I went to art school for a while, and I took some theatre classes as well. When I came back here, I saw they couldn’t get anyone to fill the spot, so I applied and got it. I wasn’t qualified, but they tried me out anyway. I did well and they kept me. I’m back to school myself, though, to get my teaching credentials.”

“That’s good… I guess.”

“What about you? You’re going to graduate this year. You planning on college?”

“Naw. School’s not really my thing. I’ve got a place at my dad’s garage. Already work there some nights and weekends.”

Steve tried to hide a frown, but Bucky caught it. “It’s not so bad there. Pay’s shit, but the owner is cool.”

“Is that what you want?” It was a careful question, neither accusing nor approving. 

Bucky shrugged as he set his bag down inside the apartment. It was a nice place. Small, but not crowded. Bucky could see bits of the Steve he remembered in this place. Full bookshelves, an art table in the corner. No TV. His parents never had let him watch TV. “I’ll figure it out,” he said. “Always do.”

“All right. Won’t take me long to get dinner ready. Make yourself at home.” Steve disappeared into the kitchen.

Bucky walked over to the bookshelf. It was filled with artbooks and old classic novels, as well as plays and sheet music. He smiled at the photo albums and pulled one off, opening it up. There were a few old photos from when they’d been kids together, then more from Steve’s time overseas. Bucky stopped at a picture of Steve at some kind of formal dance. He was with a girl and they looked like they were completely in love. 

Bucky knew Steve had always worn his emotions on his sleeve. There was no mistaking the look in his eyes and Bucky wasn’t sure why that bothered him. Steve came back in and froze when he saw Bucky looking at the photo. Bucky smiled, pushing away whatever he was feeling. “Who is she?”

“Peggy Carter. Her folks were stationed on the same base. That was at winter formal. They didn’t call it that over there, but that’s what it was.”

“Didn’t stay together?”

“Naw, she moved on. She wanted to join the army herself and she was going to become an officer. She’ll be great at it when she gets there.”

“But not you?”

“I thought about it. But after my dad died in a bombing, I think I just got a bit disillusioned. And then some other stuff happened… Well, the military used to be pretty noble, but after growing up on a base like that, I realised I’d be fighting for the wrong reasons. I didn’t want that life. Peggy thinks she can make it better, and if anyone can, it’s her. Maybe if we lived in a different time, I would have gladly joined.”

“You loved her?”

Steve laughed. “I was infatuated with her. She was one of two people who saw me for who I really was, before I got better. But I don’t know about love. Maybe to an extent. I guess if it was real love, I would have stayed regardless.”

“Who was the other one?”

Steve punched his shoulder good-naturedly. Right now, it felt like it used to be. They weren’t teacher and student. They were two friends just catching up on old times. “You, jerk.”

Bucky laughed and relaxed. “Well, you had that great comic book collection. How your mom let you have that and not TV was beyond me.”

“She didn’t want me to stop being a kid. She just wanted to make sure I developed an imagination before introducing me to that. Come on. Dinner’s ready.”

They talked over dinner, mostly about what Steve had done in his time away. Bucky shared some about himself, but glossed over the bad stuff. 

“So… why did you have a gun on campus?” Steve dropped the question casually that Bucky felt he had to answer. He couldn’t lie to his best friend.

“I wasn’t going to shoot anyone,” he promised. “I just… didn’t know what to do with it.”

“What do you mean?”

Bucky sighed and set his fork down. “It was a punk in an alley. He was threatening a kid, waving the gun around like a maniac. It was stupid, but I had to do something and no one else was around. And… the kid reminded me of you. So I kicked the punk’s ass. He got away, but left the gun and… I panicked. I know it was stupid. I turned it in as soon as I got to school, but no one believed what happened.”

“I do.” Steve reached across the table and squeezed his hand. “When I heard, I knew it had to be a mistake. That’s why…”

“Why you risked your job for me?”

“I’d do it again in a heartbeat, even if we weren’t friends. I’d do it for any kid at school. But maybe you more than most. Because I know you. No matter what you’ve been through, that’s not the sort of thing you would have done.”

Bucky didn’t smile. Instead, he stood and carried his plate to the sink. “You’re always so certain.”

“Not always. But this… This I am certain of. Is that how you broke your arm too?”

“Yeah,” Bucky lied. Steve didn’t need to know that it had happened after Dad had found out.

He was turned suddenly, as Steve grabbed his good hand and pulled him around. “Is that the truth?”

Bucky met his eyes. He wondered if Steve could see it… see everything. Past all of the lies and walls Bucky had built around himself since Mom’s death. In that moment, Bucky felt very vulnerable.

Steve cursed. It was odd coming from him. “Is this from your dad? My folks told me once…”

“Told you what?”

“That he wasn’t a good man.”

Bucky swallowed. “It’s fine,” he said weakly. His lie sounded thin, even to his own ears. 

Steve took a step back. “I think I should pay him a visit.”

“No!” Desperate to keep Steve away from Bucky’s home, he did the only thing he could think of. He gripped Steve’s wrist with his good hand, and yanked him in for a kiss.

Bucky wasn’t sure what he had been expecting, but he was pretty sure the heat spreading through his body wasn’t it. Steve didn’t react at first, clearly taken by surprise. Then he closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around Bucky’s waist, pressing him close. 

It was over almost as quickly as it had begun. Steve pulled away, leaving Bucky wanting more. “We can’t,” Steve said. “If people found out…”

“I don’t care,” Bucky said. He stepped forward, but Steve gently pushed him away. Bucky buried the hurt that he felt. He stepped back. “I’ve got to get home.”

“Bucky...”

“No. It’s fine.” He walked over to his stuff and grabbed it. “You’ve made your point.” He didn’t wait for Steve to try and stop him again. He ran out, leaving the door wide open, and fled from the sound of Steve’s voice calling after him.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. How could he have been so stupid? Why had he kissed him like that? Bucky should have known Steve wouldn’t go for it. It had just seemed…. right. Instead, it hadn’t been right at all, just like all of Bucky’s other decisions lately.

He stopped halfway home, realising he was crying. He couldn’t go home like this. Dad would ask too many questions. He forced himself to walk slower, breathing deep. He wiped away the tears and was as composed as he could ever hope to be as he stepped inside.


	3. Chapter 3

Bucky almost backed out of the audition. He was a bit embarrassed by how he’d reacted the night before and hadn’t slept at all, playing over the situation in his head. When it came time for school, he’d decided to just not mention it. Then he stepped into the theatre, saw Steve, and nearly turned and fled again. 

Instead, he kept his head down and shuffled toward the stage. Auditions were already happening. Steve was sitting in one of the front seats, having roped a band student into playing for the auditions. Bucky saw a clipboard in his hands, with the students’ names on one side, and what was either the part they were trying out for, or a possible part for them.

Steve looked over as Bucky passed him. “Just in time. I was about to call you up. Go on.” There was no smile on his face today.

Bucky took a deep breath and walked up to the stage. He started clumsily at first, worried, but the worry of making a fool of himself quickly melted away as he got into the dance. The singing wasn’t bad either, but it wasn’t excellent. When he was done, he hurried back off the stage and took a seat at the back of the room.

After class, everyone left. Bucky tried to follow after them, but Steve cut him off. “Come into my office. We need to talk.”

Bucky started to protest, then nodded and followed after him. He ran a hand through his hair. It was messed up from tossing and turning and attempts to fix it had proven unfruitful. It was getting long too. He should probably cut it soon.

Steve closed the door behind them. “Please have a seat. About last night…”

“You… you don’t have to say anything. I know I was pushing myself on you,” Bucky said, not meeting Steve’s eyes. He felt arms around him then and looked up.

Steve hugged him. “You weren’t. It’s just that you’re still underage, Bucky. And I’m your teacher. If word got out…”

Bucky blinked. He hadn’t thought of that. “So you….” He started, not sure how to put it into words.

Steve laughed and let go of Bucky. “Yes. I like you. And I would have loved to do more last night. But it’s better if we wait.”

Bucky smiled, relieved. “My birthday’s next month.”

“Well, then, I’ll just have to give you a very pleasant gift. But we can’t let anyone know, even then. It’ll have to be between us.”

Bucky thought of his father. If he ever found out…”That’s fine with me. In that case, you can’t show me any favoritism. I know I sucked.”

“You weren’t that bad.” Bucky caught the wince Steve tried to hide. “Your dancing was great.”

“Well, maybe I should go join the dance team instead.”

Steve laughed. “Don’t even think about it. I can find a role for you anyway.” He paused. “You really like to dance still?”

Bucky looked away again, embarrassed. “It’s been a while, but yeah. But not ballet. I’d look stupid in tights.”

“I know someone who teaches dance at the local college. I bet they’d let you sit in on a class.”

“We’ll see. I have to get to class.”

The next month was filled with practice. Bucky wasn’t given a lead role. He played a character that had a few lines, but mostly was just a back-up dancer. That suited him. His cast came off as well, which only allowed him more freedom in his dancing. But he was more eager for his birthday than anything else. 

It finally arrived and Steve took Bucky out to dinner first. After dinner, they returned to Steve’s apartment. Bucky smiled to see it was decorated for him. Nothing extravagant, just a couple of balloons, some candlelight, and a cake. Bucky smiled. “It’s perfect.” He hadn’t even received acknowledgement from his dad since Mom had died. 

Steve looked relieved, as if he’d been worried that Bucky wouldn’t like it. “It’s not much.”

“It’s perfect,” Bucky said again, firm. “I can’t imagine a better way I’d have spent my birthday.” And since he was eighteen now, Bucky turned and kissed Steve with all of the passion and eagerness he’d been holding in for the last month. Steve was stiff at first, then softened and pulled Bucky close.

This time, they only stopped to breathe. Bucky looked at Steve, still feeling breathless. “I’ve never done this before.”

“Neither have I… at least, not with another man. I think we’ll figure it out.”

Steve led him to the bedroom. Bucky watched him as he removed his shirt, tossing it onto a chair next to the bed. Bucky stepped up close, touching Steve’s chest. “Just as msucular as I thought,” he said, more to himself. 

Still, Steve chuckled. “You thought about my muscles, huh?”

Bucky blushed but smiled. “Maybe a little.” Steve reached over and pulled at Bucky’s shirt. Bucky wasn’t really thinking about it as Steve lifted his shirt over his head, but then he heard the intake of air, and remembered how scarred his own body was.

“Bucky…” Steve began.

“Don’t. Don’t ask. Don’t spoil this.” Bucky leaned in and kissed him again, stealing away any further argument.

The evening was spent in awkward, wonderful love-making. Steve knew a bit more than Bucky, but by the time the sun started to rise, they had both figured it out. Bucky slept peacefully for the first time since he could remember, encased in Steve’s protective embrace.

Bucky woke late the next day and stretched stiffly. While they hadn’t gone non-stop all night, they done it enough that he felt sore now. He sat up and looked around. Steve wasn’t in the bedroom, but Bucky could smell something good coming from the kitchen.

Groaning, he stood and pulled on his pants before walking out there. Steve was sitting on the couch, sketching. He smiled as Bucky came in. “How’re you feeling?”

“Sore and stiff,” Bucky grumbled, making Steve laugh. 

“It’s usually like that your first time. I made some food. It’s still warm.”

“You could have woken me up.”

“I know, but you looked so peaceful, I didn’t want to disturb you. Go eat.”

Bucky sat down next to Steve after he got food. “So what now? I mean… we can keep seeing each other right?” He’d been pointedly not thinking about his father before, but now, the worry and fear was starting to creep up on him again.

“Of course. I wouldn’t do that to you. Like I said before, we just can’t tell anyone. At least not until after graduation.”

Bucky smiled. “I can’t stay too long today. I’m supposed to close at the garage for my dad.”

“He’s making you work on your birthday? That sucks.”

“It happens.” Bucky shrugged, then peered over at what Steve was sketching. “Is… is that me? You’re still as good as ever, but I think you may be over-exaggerating some of my features there,” he teased.

“I never over-exaggerate,” Steve protested. “Here, before you leave, I got you this for your birthday.” Steve handed him a small wrapped gift.

“Steve, you didn’t have to. Last night was my gift.”

“Well, this is a gift you can keep with you. It’s a bit cheesy though.”

Bucky opened it carefully. Inside was a pocket watch with an intricate cover. Bucky grinned and opened it. Inside was a picture of them from when they were kids. Bucky’s grin widened. “This is awesome. I love it.”

His smile was infectious and soon Steve was grinning too. “Well, I figured a standard locket wasn’t your speed.”

“It’s great. Thank you.” Bucky leaned over and kissed him. He was surprised to find that last night’s exertions hadn’t diminished his desire much. He pulled himself away reluctantly. “I’ve got to go. I’ll see you in class.”


	4. Chapter 4

Bucky was surprised by how quickly the rest of the year went. He was happier now than he had been in a long time. He’d even started to make friends with the rest of the cast. Eventually he told them his story and soon after that, everyone was calling him ‘hero’ in a teasing way. It embarrassed Bucky at first, but then he got used to it. 

He didn’t spend every night over at Steve’s but he did spend a lot. If the rest of the cast noticed the furtive glances and the too-long touches, nobody said anything. It wasn’t affecting Steve’s teaching. In class, he treated Bucky just any other student, and since Bucky didn’t have a lead role, there was no playing favorites there either.

Behind the closed door of Steve’s apartment, however, things were completely different. Here they were equals. They could talk about anything and everything. Only one thing remained off limits - Bucky’s home life. 

Bucky never spoke about his dad, and he could tell that Steve noticed. Thankfully, though, he never asked. He seemed to understand that this was a safe place for Bucky and wanted to keep it that way.

For himself, Bucky felt that this was more of a home than where he currently lived with his dad. He wished he could just say screw it and move in officially, but he didn’t want to risk Steve losing his job.

So they stole their moments where they could, spending as many evenings together as possible without having the neighbors talk. Not that they would. Bucky didn’t exactly look like a high schooler so unless he actually saw someone from school here, nobody would think anything of it. This neighborhood seemed to be pretty accepting of all lifestyles anyway.

They never went out. They would stay at home and cuddle or play games or just talk. And yes, there would be sex too, but they never pushed it. They just sort of ended up there. 

Bucky slowly rediscovered his love of dance. He’d never really thought he’d do anything with it. He still didn’t. But sometimes he’d go over to Steve’s apartment and just… dance. There was never any form to it… or well, there was, but it wasn’t the form of ballet, or a waltz. Steve would put on music, they’d push the couch and coffee table away and Bucky would just dance while Steve drew.

Steve would also occasionally bring him brochures for the local art school. They had a dance program and Bucky would secretly look through them, wishing he could go. He’d never be able to afford it, though, and what would he even do with a degree dance. He did make a promise to Steve, though, that after graduation he would at least go sit in on the class, but it was more to stop Steve from nagging than anything.

One evening, close to opening night, Bucky was practicing in Steve’s living room when the music suddenly changed to a slower song. Bucky glanced over at Steve, who was walking up to him. “Let me have one dance?” Steve asked. He pulled Bucky close.

Bucky smiled and slow danced with his lover. He could feel Steve’s warm breath against his neck, his lips barely touching the skin. Bucky closed his eyes, breathing Steve in, wanting to remember everything about this moment. “I never want to leave,” he whispered into Steve’s ear. “I love you.”

There was no hesitation in Steve’s embrace. “I love you too,” he quietly stated back, and Bucky had no doubts that Steve was telling the absolute truth.

Something about this tenderness made Bucky’s stomach knot up. He’d only ever gotten this from two people - his foster mother… and Steve. “Can we talk?”

Steve pulled back and looked at him, then nodded. “Of course.” He led him over to the couch and turned off the music. Silence filled the room, broken only by their breathing, soft as it was. Bucky knew it was time to tell Steve the truth. Maybe not all of it, but as much as he could. He held onto Steve’s hand, drawing strength from him.

“My mother died. It was an outbreak at the hospital. It happened a few years after you left. She caught something from a patient, and they couldn’t save her. It was always a crappy hospital anyway. They were never as careful as they should have been. It was shut down after that.”

Steve sucked in his breath. “Christ, Bucky. I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“Well, you couldn’t have. I never told you. Shortly after that was when I stopped writing to you. There was just so much I wanted to say, but it couldn’t be said in a letter and there was no way to call you.”

Steve moved to hug him, but Bucky stopped him. “Please, I need to say what I can now. My dad grew distant after that. You know he and I were never close. Not like my mom and I. You know they adopted me. I think that was more my mom’s idea. She couldn’t have kids and Dad wanted her to be happy. Now he barely talks to me and when he does, he just yells.

“I figured that was just the way my life would be until I graduated. He’ll kick me out then, I know he will. But then you came back and I… I am so glad you’re here. You make me feel important. You make me feel like I can do something. Anything. After you left and Mom died, I felt useless. But not anymore.”

This time, when Steve went to hug him, Bucky didn’t stop him. He leaned into Steve’s arms, barely aware that he was crying. “You have a place with me, James Buchanan Barnes. When you graduate, I want you to move in with me. We can take care of each other.”

“Until the end of the line?”

Steve chuckled, remembering their old games from when they were kids. “Until the end of the line.”

 

The following day, Bucky was feeling a lot better. He had a plan now. He had things to look forward to. The play was in a week, then graduation a few weeks after that, and then Bucky could move out. Nothing could spoil his mood.

He went to work, whistling happily. He usually took the closing shifts at the garage, since he had classes during the day, and he usually worked alone. He was surprised to see his dad was still there today, though. His good mood soured a bit and he stuck his hands in his pockets. Dad looked to be in a foul mood himself.

Bucky slipped around him, smelling a little bit of alcohol. The older man was working on a car, fixing what was probably either the axle or the muffler. Bucky shook his head and clocked himself in, then picked up the work order for the car he’d worked on yesterday. He’d done everything but rotate the tires.

“Boy!” He heard his dad yell at him and sighed. “Get your ass over here.”

Bucky set down the paper and slumped over. “Yes, sir?”

The man was angry as he shoved a flyer at him. “You got some explaining to do, son.”

Looking down at the paper, Bucky’s stomach dropped. It was a flyer for the school play, with his name on it. Why the hell was his name on it?

“You think I hadn’t noticed you disappearing for all hours of the night? You think I don’t notice when you don’t come home. Thought you were getting high. I would have preferred you to be a druggie to…. that nonsense!” His voice rose in volume and that scared Bucky. The man was drunk and angry, never a good combination. To say nothing of the tire iron in his hand. 

It wasn’t that he ever purposely went out of his way to use anything other than his hands to beat Bucky, but when he was in this kind of mood, the old man tended to forget he had things in his hand. Bucky backed away slowly. 

“Dad, I… I can explain…”

“Explain? Explain that my son is some queer fag?” His lip curled and he advanced. 

There was no point arguing with him in this state. What could he say? It was true, wasn’t it? Bucky wouldn’t have used those words, but he was sleeping with another man.

“Dad,” he started. He wasn’t watching where he was going, and fell over backwards as his heel caught on a tire.

“I ain’t the father of no queer,” his dad roared. That wasn’t just angry anymore. That was pure fury. It scared Bucky so much that he couldn’t even get his feet under him.

An odd thought occured to him in that moment. He would never have let a bully do this to Steve. Why was he taking it? But he couldn’t muster any action to accompany that thought as Dad brought down the tire iron. Bucky acted without really thinking. He quickly raised his left arm to block the blow.and protect his head. 

His bones shattered and skin broke and he screamed, the world going white with agony. He was vaguely aware of continuing to slide away from his dad, but it was a subconscious thought. He moved until he felt something at his back. He gained his vision back to find himself under a car that had been raised up.

Dad had stopped moving, staring at the tire iron in his hand as if just noticing he had it. He then looked at Bucky, who’s eyes were glazed over with pain. “You’re not my son. Don’t worry. I’ll put you out of your misery.”

Bucky didn’t have the sense to wonder what he was talking about. He watched his dad look up at the car above Bucky. There was a crazed look in his eyes and something clicked in Bucky’s mind. _He’s not just drunk… he’s doped up…_ And then, _He’s going to kill me._

Bucky thought of Steve and grit his teeth. He couldn’t give up. Not with Steve waiting for him. He struggled to pull himself up but he was weak from the pain and blood loss. His dad came at him again. “Nobody wanted you. Not your birth parents, not me…”

“Mom… mom did.”

“And she’s dead. Because of you.”

“Me?” Bucky choked back a sob.

“You think she wanted to work at that god awful place? After she got fired from her last job, we couldn’t afford you anymore. But she wanted to keep you. So she went to work at that hell-hole. That’s on you. I’ve lost her and I can’t get her back and I got stuck with you instead.”

There was pain in his Dad’s voice, years of grief and sorrow, but Bucky felt no pity for him. 

“Well she wanted you, so I’m going to give you back to her.” He brought the tire iron down on Bucky’s head and Bucky blacked out.

~~~  
Steve had been coming to the garage to bring Bucky some dinner. He stepped in and looked around. “Bucky?”

Someone came out of the back. Steve could hear a grinding in the distance. The man who came out looked terrible and reeked of alcohol. “What do you want?”

Steve frowned. “I’m looking for Bucky. Aren’t you his dad?”

“I ain’t no one’s dad and Bucky ain’t here.”

There was something not right about this. Steve felt it in his gut. He was certain this was Bucky’s dad, but the man’s eyes had the look of someone who had taken something heavy. “I’ll have a look for myself, thanks.” He moved to go by the man, but his arm was grabbed. 

“You don’t have permission,” he slurred, trying to pull him out. Steve turned and punched the guy hard in the face, causing him to let go and clutch his nose. Steve didn’t hesitate. He ran back and felt his heart skip. Bucky was trapped under a car. 

Steve looked around quickly, trying to keep his panic from settling in, eyes scanning for some way to move the car. He spotted a jack and hurried to get it in place.

It took forever before he was able to pull Bucky out. He grabbed his cell phone and called 911, praying earnestly for his friend.

 

Bucky’s dad was sent to prison. Bucky survived, but he had gone into a coma and the doctors weren’t sure when or if Bucky would come out of it. They’d had to amputate his arm. There’d been too much damage to it, between the tire iron and the weight of the car. He’d suffered several broken ribs as well, but was lucky that there had been no internal bleeding.

Steve stayed by his bedside daily, praying for a miracle. He only left to see to things at school for Bucky. The hospital room was filled with cards and flowers from the other students and teachers. School was out now, but people would still come to visit. 

It was near the end of summer that Bucky began to respond to Steve’s voice. And then just before the start of the new school year, Bucky opened his eyes. Steve looked up as he felt more than saw Bucky shift. He smiled as Bucky turned his eyes on Steve.

“Bucky…”

But there was no recognition in those eyes. “Who’s…. Bucky…” His eyes fluttered closed again. 

Steve could feel his own heart tighten up, but he couldn’t let it get him down too much. “We’ll figure that out together,” he whispered, squeezing Bucky’s hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a bit of a heartbreaking ending. I'm sorry, I promise I'll post something appropriately fluffy to make up for this later. I do hope you enjoyed it. Leave some comments if you did.

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to try my hand at a Steve/Bucky AU that kept the essence of their relationship. I deviated a bit from the ages (movie-canon has them at a year apart but for the sake of the fic, there is a five year age gap). I hope y'all enjoy. It'll probably be about 3 chapters, maybe.


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